Women are natural born leaders, not always of countries or large corporate businesses, but of life. Don’t get me wrong, there are incredible women doing these things too and that’s one more hat they are wearing. We are often the driving force behind the scenes. They say “behind every good man is a good woman.” I believe that is true for ambitious successful children as well. The people in our lives do well usually because there is someone in their life that takes care of the “dirty jobs” and multiple jobs no one else seems to be able to handle. We are multi-taskers, most men aren’t. I can’t ask my husband a question if he is in the middle of a project in the shop. He has to stop and look at me to hear the question and to answer. He can’t keep working on his project and listen at the same time; men are not wired that way. Women on the other hand, can answer a question while doing 2-3 other things at once. Our brains are wired to handle many things at the same time.
Growing up you may have had a woman in your life that influenced you too. Your mom, a grandmother, or an aunt, maybe even a neighbor or teacher. All of our lives are different, but one thing remains the same, there was an influence and someone we learned from. My mom was home when we were young. I don’t remember her working until we were older. My dad was in the military and so mom had the household responsibilities. She took care of me and my brother, she paid the bills, did the shopping, took care of the house and my dad. She didn’t work outside the home until I was in Jr. High. We had a good life growing up. We didn’t live lavishly, but we had what we needed. There was a lot of love, nurturing and discipline in our house. Mom could make a dollar stretch and we didn’t lack for anything. We had school clothes and supplies when needed and food on the table. We took family vacations and did a lot of fun things. I had a great influence growing up and I learned a lot from her.
So, how many times have you stopped and asked yourself….”Who am I?” I have done that quite recently. I have a name, Marcella Renee’ Patten. I am 46. I am a daughter, a wife, mother and friend. I am cook, maid, nanny(aka mom), caregiver, banker/accountant, chauffeur and lover. I have many roles and many things to do, but who am I? I had interests and things I liked to do, but what were they? I had time for me once, but what did I do with that time?
Thinking back when I had no husband, no son, no ill mother to care for no household to run, no responsibilities except me and my living expenses, what kind of person was I? Who was I? I worked to pay bills and better myself. I had friends I hung out with. What did we do? I vaguely remember concerts, Bible studies, dinners, movies, games, hanging out and talking. I was never a partier, we never went to clubs or bars, those things didn’t amuse us. Drinking and hangovers didn’t amuse me. Call me a “good girl” because I was a Christian, but I was happy then.My former life as a single adult is a blur. I remember I liked to have fun, I still do. But fun doesn’t seem to be around right now. All that seems to be here is RESPONSIBILITY.
I have so many responsibilities. Responsibility….what does that mean? The Encarta Dictionary says this…1. Accountability: the state, fact, or position of being accountable to somebody or for something; 2. something to be responsible for somebody or something for which a person or organization is responsible; 3.blame the blame for something that has happened; 4. authority to act authority to make decisions independently.
All of that fits me right now. What are my responsibilities? I have plenty, so let’s break it down into job titles and their tasks (in no particular order):
COOK: Make sure everyone eats regularly. Buy the groceries. Fix the meals, including lunches to take to work and school.
MAID: Keep the house clean. Dishes, kitchen, vacuum, dust, pick up after everybody, do the laundry, which means gather it up, separate it, wash it, dry it and then fold or hang it.
CHAUFFEUR: Get those that don’t drive to where they need to go. Take son to school and pick him up. Drive mom where she needs to go; doctor appointments, lab, respiratory therapy, hair appointments, shopping if she is up to it.
BANKER/ACCOUNTANT: Make sure checks get in the account, pay all the bills.
NANNY: (aka Mother) Make sure son does his homework, cleans his room, bathes, brushes his teeth, play with him. Stays out of trouble, watches the right things, plays the right games. LOVE, hug and nurture him (the last being the easiest part of my jobs).
CAREGIVER/NURSE: Take care of ailing mother. Help bathe, go to the bathroom, make meals, make Dr. appointments, drive to said appointments, keep track of meds, take blood pressure 2-4 times a day. Check Pulse Ox, check sugar levels. Take to respiratory therapy 3 times a week. Keep room clean, change sheets, do laundry. Press clothes, help dress. Keep track of her paperwork and bills.
LOVER: Keep my husband happy. Hmmm, well I try to figure out what keeps him happy. I take care of all his needs listed above in the other job titles so he doesn’t have to worry about anything.(Don't get me wrong, he does help with some things). I have to admit that this is the one job title that gets the least attention and I think many wives who have a lot of responsibility can agree. This job would be a lot easier to do if we felt like we were appreciated more for our other “jobs”. This one would be the greatest for both parties if our spouses truly understood what we do and how much energy it takes to do it. If our spouses knew that loving us and doing little things for us (which I will get to later) we would be the lover of their dreams. This is a chapter in itself.
AND ALL OTHER DUTIES AS ASSIGNED: this means we pick up the slack for everything else that didn’t get done by someone else like they should have.
I am sure there are several of you who have even more titles you can add, home school teacher, your career duties, and more. It's amazing we can stay sane with all this on our plates. But we do, at least we try.
I have been feeling very overwhelmed. Kind of like a rose bush that has had so many years of growth built up around it that it seems to be choked off from the sun and the view of the sky. My responsibilities don't change, but I need some pruning. I need to let go of some of the branches around me and not dwell in ALL the things I have going on. I need to look at the moment right now and see what needs to be done in front of me.
When you read Proverbs 31:10-31 about the wise woman and wonder if that is attainable, remember that all those verses and the things she does are in a lifetime and at different stages in her life. She grew into the woman of God He was creating her to be. She was pruned and nurtured daily to achieve her status as a blessed, wise woman.
So..."Who Am I?"... I am a woman of God who can do All things through Christ who strengthens me. Just remember All things does not mean all at once!
Stay tuned for more ~ Marcy
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